This is another addition to our ongoing series of tutorials and case studies on landing pages that work.
As the mom to three kids and the wife of a “brown-bagging” federal worker, I’ve bought (and replaced) more than my share of lunch boxes and bags. At the end of a typical school year, the bags that haven’t been lost are ripped, falling apart, and generally pretty disgusting. They, along with the detritus of my kids’ backpacks, get dumped into the trash at the start of every summer.
Maybe there’s a better way. Nancy Owen Myers surely thought so. That’s why she and her small cadre of friends developed Lunchsense.
These attractive, smartly engineered lunch totes work easily for adults as well as kids. They’re well-made, tough as nails, easy to clean, and non-toxic to small humans and big blue planets. Containers are well designed, fit snugly into their proper places, and are manufactured with planet-friendly plastic . . . a lunch box system that doesn’t need to be replaced every year.
But Nancy has a two-fold problem: not enough traffic and not enough buyers. E-tailers/retailers are still taking a pretty big hit in this economy, but let’s see what we can do to help Nancy get more of these snazzy lunch boxes into a lot more hands, big and small.
- The Goal : Increase overall traffic, boost conversion rate from approximately 2%.
- The Problem: Conversion is low.
- The Current Landing Page (homepage): www.lunchsense.com
- Value: $39.00 for lunchbox best-seller
The Maven’s 10-Point Critique
Note: Nancy coupled the need for additional traffic as well as improved conversion. So I’ve divided my suggestions into two broad categories.
FOR CONVERSION
#1 – Simplify, simplify, and simplify your homepage. Right now. I mean it.
Click image for larger view
Wow, this homepage is a complete mess. Too many images, too many messages, too much!
While a classic landing page is a self-contained promotional vehicle that’s designed to drive a specific action from the page itself, a homepage’s main job is to drive a visitor deeper inside the site. Like a display window in a traditional retail shop, its job is to entice the prospect inside, where the real selling takes place.
What you need to do here is:
- Choose one primary image that’s representative of everything else. How about a nice image of a happy mom and child using a Lunchsense?
- Choose one strong statement: Lunchsense: The Easier, Cleaner & Greener Lunch Box Kit (as an example). Emphasize your value proposition — what only Lunchsense is/does and no other lunch box can say.
- Choose three strong benefits and bullet them.
- Add a highlight box for your special offer of the month. Add a “Start Shopping” button or even test a “Which Lunchsense Kit is right for you?” button.
Get rid of just about everything else, including the background veggie picture. (See the image detail.)
#2 – Rework your navigation to replicate the visitor’s path toward a purchase.
I think you’d benefit from three tiers of navigation. The Primary navigation bar should focus on the main reason why someone is at your site and is product/feature/benefit focused. I suggest:
- HOME – SELECTION (Kits/Components/Gift Certificates)
- FAQ (Care/Cleaning/Hardware)
- OUR STORY (Why Lunchsense/Origins/Go Green)
- BLOG or RAVES
If you’re not going to update your blog frequently, move the blog to Green Reads and add testimonials to the BLOG/RAVES spot instead.
Secondary Navigation will show the “sweeteners” and provides supportive information as someone is edging toward a purchase. I suggest:
- Customer Care (instead of Warranty as a section head)
- Green Reads (articles)
- Contact Us
- View Cart
Tertiary Navigation is what you need to have but generally won’t impact the customer or their actions very much. I usually put the Privacy Policy/Sitemap/Contact Us (again) adjacent to the copyright line, full corporate name, address, phone and email (email is linked.)
Add Wholesale Info/Wholesaler Log-in links in a place where they can be seen but are out of the main view of the consumer.
Also, replace your use of the term “warranty” with the words satisfaction guarantee.
#3 – Provide intuitive paths for your visitor to move around the site.
Although your site is fairly small, it would benefit from some form of “breadcrumb” sub-navigation so your visitors always know where they are — and that includes adding a Home link on the main navigation.
Many shoppers won’t know to try clicking the logo as a shortcut to the homepage. They have no way to back out and start again and that makes ‘em edgy and nervous. Getting in and out of your blog isn’t obvious either.
Keep your visitor oriented and they’ll have a much better shopping experience.
Click image for larger view
#4 – Rethink the color theme to enhance site readability and usability.
Orange is a happy, friendly color that jumps off the page. It’s a favorite color of mine to use for action buttons and highlights. But with a content-intensive site it may be too much of a good thing and tiring to the visitor. I’d also change the blue font to black for the same reason.
Also, NEVER use orange as your main text font, especially during the “dangerous” shopping cart process when shoppers abandon carts for all sorts of reasons. Don’t let a hard-to-read font cost you sales.
#5 – Don’t ask for information that isn’t relevant to the purchase or your ability to fulfill an order.
I was a little unnerved being asked the age/sex of the recipient of the lunch box during checkout. I’m not a parent who pays much attention to overwrought privacy concerns (Heck, I’m in marketing!), but this request for info didn’t sit well with me because I didn’t understand it.
By all means, suggest colors, styles, sizes, etc. on the product page. But once you’re in the order process, don’t ask for ANY information that doesn’t apply DIRECTLY to the order or your processing of it.
#6 – Don’t make the product seem hard to use.
You have several videos/slide shows/images showing how to perform various tasks with Lunchsense. I’d definitely use them but I might do so sparingly.
Why?
Because we’re talking about a lunch box which, at least for most of us, should be a fairly easy product to master. To underscore the ease, I might show children doing the tasks.
#7 – Promote your value over price.
$39 for a lunch box sounds like a lot of money, especially if you’re buying for a child or children. I mean, $39 is the cost of an average elementary school child’s backpack! So it’s up to you to showcase value everywhere you can.
Use a chart to compare $39 to the average cost of a ‘regular’ lunch bag and the thousands of sandwich baggies used (per month, per year) . . . the spoiled food because your child won’t eat something that looks yucky when opened . . . the rancid, sticky mess of a lunch bag you can’t clean properly and wind up tossing at the end of the school year (like me.)
For adults, I’d talk in terms of lunches and lattes. What does the average adult spend on a workday lunch and morning coffee? Why not put that money back in your pocket and bring lunch from home, conveniently and even elegantly?
Watching your weight? Lunchsense helps you control your portions. Other ideas you might highlight would include less waste, less of a carbon footprint, quality materials, etc.
I’d also promote the idea of a lunch box kit or system and compare it to a sad, crumpled and soggy brown bag lunch. Ask the question: Do you REALLY want to eat food that’s been packed in THAT? 
#8 – Test offers – free shipping, discounting, bundling.
It wasn’t obvious but you do have an offer on your homepage. But for the great majority of your customers (I’m guessing), it doesn’t apply.
You want to test offers that do apply to most of your target markets at relevant times.
- Back-to-School Discount
- Buy any Lunchsense, Get the small bag for 50% off
- Free shipping when your order totals $50 or more
- A large Lunchsense makes a great, reusable gift basket for baby showers, teacher gifts, etc.
Have one logical highlight box on your homepage where you can easily swap in/swap out copy and images for various offers.
FOR BUILDING TRAFFIC ORGANICALLY
#9 – Speak your customer’s language in your content.
Want your prospective customers to find you? Your content must be rich in the phrases and terms your customers actually use to find lunch box products.
You want to build a core customer glossary. There are lots of ways to do that, but one of the fastest is to use Google’s own tools. Many are used to help folks choose words for PPC campaigns, but they’re also useful as site glossary builders.
I like the Google Search-based Keyword Tool in particular, because it’s based on actual Google searches.
Pop your competition in there and see what terms they use. Also review your own site search logs and see what terms folks are using to find you. Those are the terms worth building on.
#10 – Strengthen your title/description (required).
Want to make really sure your customers (and Google) find you? Beef up your title/description tag info with customer vocabulary here, too.
Here are your current listings:
<title>Lunch Boxes, Lunch Box and Lunch Containers – Lunchsense for Children and Adults </title>
<meta name=”description” content=”Packing lunches for your child or yourself just got easier with Lunchsense lunch boxes, the machine washable, BPA/lead/PVC free lunchbox!”>
Your title is telling, but it’s too broad. It’s not selling your value proposition. Consider changing it to:
<title>Lead-Free, BPA-Free, PVC Vinyl-Free Lunch Boxes for Green Kids and Grown-ups :: Lunchsense Lunchbox Kits</title>
You’ll want to review your titles from time to time, tweaking and revising. If Vinyl-Free isn’t a strong issue, think about Eco-Friendly or other ‘green’ references. Or focus on the cleaner, greener alternative to yucky lunch boxes and bags. You’ll also want to lead with “lunch boxes” but use “lunchboxes” frequently since they are used interchangeably by your visitors.
Google frowns on being too salesy in your descriptions, so consider this suggested change:
<meta name=”description” content=”Lead-free, BPA-free, and PVC vinyl-free, Lunchsense lunch boxes make packing lunches cleaner, easier and greener and are a smart alternative to traditional lunchboxes and lunch bags.”>
Want to make Google even happier? Make sure you give each page its own unique title and description.
My thanks to Nancy Owen Myers for her supreme patience and support of Heifer International. Look for my next makeover in approximately four weeks.
Here’s your chance to be the Copywriting Maven’s next landing page makeover!
Got a landing page that’s more poop than pop? Willing to share with Copyblogger readers? Prepared to put a little of your own “skin in the game” for a Maven Makeover? Then click on Maven’s Landing Page Makeover page for all the details.
I’m booked for gratis “Heifer” critiques until 10/30/09. If you’re interested in a private critique/makeover or other services, please email me directly.
About the Author: Roberta Rosenberg is The Copywriting Maven at MGP Direct, Inc. Find her @CopywriterMaven on Twitter.
Streets will initially be priced in relation to their perceived value, with Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington DC a cool $2 million, on a first-come, first-get basis: only one player will be allowed to “own” any street at any particular time and they’ll be allowed to negotiate their own price as and when they sell it to another player.
